19178

Joke of the Day

"Why do you never play uno with a mexican? Because they will steal all the green cards."

"The scene where Indiana Jones swaps the bags and runs from a boulder but it's me trying to eat a cookie without my kid seeing me"

"Vegans have a special acronym for 'Today I Fucked Up' TOFU"

"What happens when Turkeys get the common cold? They quit smoking."

"What is better than a rose on a piano? Tulips on the organ. (I'll show myself out...)"

"Yo Mamas teeth are so yellow I can't believe it's not butter."

"How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb? GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

"How do you figure out if Will Smith committed a crime? Dust for Fresh Prints! (i this version better than any snowstorm b.s.)"

"So in 2016 I've decided to leave all the negative people behind. So im sorry if i owe you money because im moving on from that now."

"How do you know a chinese thief has broken into your house? All of your rice is gone, your computer is fixed, and the mother fucker is still trying to back out of the driveway."