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Joke of the Day

"The scene where Indiana Jones swaps the bags and runs from a boulder but it's me trying to eat a cookie without my kid seeing me"

"*wakes up* well, it looks like its that time again. time to do just enough activity to convince my body that it needs to go back to sleep"

"Only one person cried when Chuck Norris was born and that was the doctor.... no one slaps Chuck Norris"

"NFL Not Female Lovers Nail Females Limp Nasty F...ckig Liars Not Fair Losers"

"What did the spanish fireman name his 2 sons? Jose and Hose B"

"An organ trafficker has a date ""What do you do for a living?"", asks the date. ""I trade illegal organs."", the trafficker says. ""Jesus! Don't you have a heart?"" ""Was that a critic or an order?"""

"Yo Mama So Fat she sat on a rainbow and made skittles."

"So, I understand Michael Jackson died from food poisoning... ...he choked on a 9-year old weiner."

"Him: Your beautiful.... Me: My beautiful what? My beautiful WHAT?!!"

"A programmer's wife asks him to pick up a loaf of bread and, if they have eggs, get a dozen. The programmer comes home with a dozen loaves of bread."