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Joke of the Day

"If you're white, you should always get to go ahead first instead of the blacks. Is one of the first rules of chess."

"ladies, call me a badly designed excel spreadsheet because my D column is unnecessarily large"

"A son asks his dad: ""Do you remember your first blowjob?"" - The father answers: ""Yes, son!"" The boy asks: ""How did it taste?"""

"what's the strongest part of a vegetable? the wheel chair."

"Some people you know were dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window."

"What's the difference between r/showerthoughts and Jaden Smith's twitter? Capitalization."

"When a teacher closes his eyes why should it remind him of an empty classroom? Because there are no pupils to see!"

"I accidentally said ""pastryarchy"" instead of ""patriarchy"" and now I have a vision for a better world"

"""I find pleasure in the little things""... ...Said the pedofile to the court."

"After Michael jackson died.. They melted all the plastic from his face. They took the plastic and made toys. So the kids can play with him for a change."