191719

Joke of the Day

"Difference between Ellen Pao and Kim Jong-un. One is tyrannical and ruthless dictator, who destroys each and every opposition and other is supreme leader of North Korea."

"Surprise a beautiful person today by disagreeing with them."

"Grandma's funeral ft. Pitbull"

"The only thing worse than finding out you were given up for adoption would be finding out it was Rick Astley who gave you up."

"A cop pulled me over because he thought I was talking on a cell phone but really I was just rubbing a slice of pizza on the side of my face"

"There are 10 types of people... too highbrow? There are 10 types of people... those who know binary, those who don't and those who understand off-by-one errors."

"You'd think my hair would be a little more cooperative considering how many times I blow it per week."

"What do you call a gigolo you don't pay? A Free Willy."

"Two nuts were walking down a street... One was assaulted"

"What do you call a forty something guy who masturbates all the time? Married"