191699

Joke of the Day

"I just tried to start my car with my phone. You should know that my car has a keyless ignition. I'm pretty."

"What do you call a Jewish person who is suicidal? A Yamikaze."

"Ah Monday morning, the hideously ugly, unwanted child of the week. I'm torn between pity and the feeling of violating something with a broom"

"If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I would never be bored again."

"what did the cemetery dude say when he buried the wrong guy? i made a grave mistake"

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin Catholic!"

"What kind of car does god drive? A Christler"

"What would you get if Harry Potter tried to kill Darth Vader? *A Vader Cadaver*"

"Breaking: CNN confirms planes need fuel to fly. In other news, scientist confirm brains are not needed to work at CNN."

"Why was Hitler so obsessed about getting into heaven? Because there were 6 million Jews waiting for him in hell."