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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fat cop? A fuzz ball"

"Judging by my handwriting possible future career choices include doctor or kindergartner."

"Saying Java is good because it works on Windows, Linux and Mac OS is like saying... Anal sex is good because it works on men, women, and animals."

"Knock Knock.... Whose there... Fuck you."

"Why is the letter ""O"" everywhere? Because it's a round U."

"I just melted an ice cube by staring at it. Took a bit longer than I thought it would, though."

"How I want to die... I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"Don't embarrass a guy by telling him his fly is open in public. Just be a man, walk over there, and slowly zip it up for him."

"I'd be calmer defusing a bomb after four Red Bulls than watching someone else use my laptop."

"Lady Gaga is so nasty I wouldn't even poke her face."