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Joke of the Day
"Lady Gaga is so nasty I wouldn't even poke her face."
Next Joke
"Why couldn't the pregnant horse sing? Because she was getting a little hoarse"
"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog."
"I just ran over a dog. At first I felt bad, but then I realized it was my Ex..."
"""Yeah, well your dog isn't a rescue, your snacks are processed and everyone knows you're vaccinated"" - how a kid talks shit in 2015"
"Any sink has a garbage disposal if you push hard enough."
"A man and a woman walk into an elevator The man asks the woman, can I smell your feet? The woman looks at him with disgust and says no. The man says, it must be your vagina then."
"I told you I'll be there in 5 minutes, stop calling me every half an hour!"
"What is it called when two celebrities are fighting? Star wars."
"At my funeral, I want them to play ""Thriller"" and have someone that looks like me climb out of a casket, dancing. (wins at death)"