191618

Joke of the Day

"I remember the first time I saw my girlfriend, her hair was blowing in the wind, but she was too proud to run after it."

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"if i was the one who drove the titanic i bet i could have hit at least 3 ice bergs before it sank"
"[at a farm] Dairy cow: Oooh that tickles Sheep: Look I got a new ""hairdo"" Chicken: Cool I didn't want to know any of my children anyway"
"I eat the broken cookies first because I feel bad for them."
"Which of the following words does not belong: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob? Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs, and wife; but you can't beat a blowjob."
"I accidentally filled the escort with diesel, she died."
"Call your boring friend Simon, ""Sighmon"" he'll never know the difference and you can laugh about it with your cool bros over beers."
"1) In the interest of time, would ye noble patriots please provide a list of infractions punishable by spontaneous public execution? Thanks!"
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now update your Facebook status."
"What do you call a dumb musician? Curt Nobrain...."
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