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Joke of the Day
"I called my little sister a blue waffle today... that spoiled cunt."
Next Joke
"How do you end an argument with a woman? Tell her to calm down. You're dead now but the argument is over."
"This status is dedicated to whatever you're ignoring in real life to read it."
"I just found out I'm an amateur nudist. I thought I was pretty good at it but apparently if you don't have the right certifications they'll call the mall security."
"What do you need to make a crystal salad? Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice"
"Donald Trump is what happens when you tell a child all his ideas are special."
"Why do birch trees only have daughters? Cuz they kill the male birch trees. Nobody likes those sons of birches."
"""Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Maryland State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years."""
"A guest at a restaurant asks the waiter... ""do you have lobster tails?"" The waiter replies: ""Of course! Once upon a time, there was a little lobster....."""
"Why was 9 afraid of 20? 28 29's"