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Joke of the Day
"TIL you don't actually learn something new everyday. Wait. Nevermind."
Next Joke
"Why do Jews only read the Old Testament? Because they're too cheap to buy the new! *ba-dum-tss*"
"I'm not that great at hide and seek... I look in the mirror and I lose everytime."
"You were all Pluto's not even a planet and now you're watching it from your space car all slow and creepy like. Jerk."
"Why can't spooky skeletons cross the road? No guts."
"My wife said in the morning ""You are an idiot""... while combing her hair in front of the mirror when I walked by."
"Two prostitutes are discussing one asks the other: -What did you ask to Santa Claus this year? the other one answers: -Fifty dollars like everybody else"
"I'm looking at the serving size of Laughing Cow cheese and I see why the cow is laughing."
"A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection The judge says, ""First offender?"" The woman replies, ""No, first a Gibson, then a Fender."""
"""To serve and protect."""