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Joke of the Day
"9/10 students agree that someone got lost on the field trip"
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"How do the Kardashians change a broken light bulb They buy a new house"
"How do lesbian carpenters work? No studs. All tongue in groove."
"Do you have 11 protons? Because you're sodium fine..."
"My friend went whale watching the other day... I didn't know people were paying to take pictures of my ex."
"Ladies; The ""JUICY"" on the back of these shorts should really be on the front."
"Idea: Always carry around a chicken, so if you're murdered your chalk outline won't just be the same old boring shit."
"How did Barack propose to Michelle? He got down on one knee and said, ""I don't wanna be Obama self."""
"[at TED talk] OMG that man is having a heart attack! Anyone here a doctor? *entire crowd stands* No a MEDICAL doctor *entire crowd sits*"
"They say ""pick your battles"", so today Oreos win."