191369

Joke of the Day

"My local newspaper ran a pun writing contest I entered my ten best puns hoping one would win, sadly no pun in ten did"

"I bought a book on eBay called, 'How to scam on eBay'. That was two months ago, and it's not arrived yet."

"Mom I am 15 now, can I finally wear a bra? No John."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octupus laugh? Ten tickles."

"Why can't your nose be twelve inches long? Because then it'd be a foot"

"What kind of bees make milk? BOO-BEES!"

"I'm sorry I showed you snaps from my colonoscopy after you made me look at your ultrasound. I thought we were sharing pics of our innards."

"I want to die like dad peacefully in my sleep. Not like mom screaming in terror in the passenger seat."

"What did the Hammerhead shark say to his buddies when he got laid? Nailed it."

"So a lumber jack was severely injured this evening... It was quite the accident."