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Joke of the Day

"I want to die like dad peacefully in my sleep. Not like mom screaming in terror in the passenger seat."

"Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon? Kermit the frogs middle finger."

"Two prostitutes are talking about their clients... One of them says ""So yesterday I had this client who had a dick like my leg!"", the other replies ""Impossible - no man has a dick that's that dirty""."

"What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand? *hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING?!?!?!"

"Highways are a lot like toilets... It only takes a couple big shits to back everything up."

"What do you call Call Of Duty in the middle east ? Tuesday"

"Apparently Kanye dropped a new album on an obscure platform. Torrent."

"Since we're doing jokes we made up as kids, here's mine: What did the World Chess Champion ask Michael Jackson? Do you want to be black, or white?"

"What is a Golden retriever's favorite sex position? It doesn't really matter, as long as its ruff."

"The lack of paparazzi at this BBQ makes me think that my aunt can probably stop referring to her potato salad as ""famous."""