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Joke of the Day

"What the difference between woman and man? A man has always the same penis between his legs."

"Finally I have an excuse for getting fat, heard on radio about girl who been eating in her sleep ... That's it, I've got that !"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue...? ... he drank his coffee *before it was cool.*"

"Jesus at the Last Supper. Jesus: *breaks bread* - This is my body! *holds a glass of wine* - This is my blood. *starts to open a jar of mayo* Judas: Sorry Jesus, I will have to stop you there."

"want to feel old?? theres stil a infinite number of small wonders u've yet to experiemce in ur incredible life. so too bad. now u feel young"

"I went to my dad and asked him... Me: hey dad will you watch a movie I'm going to cast in Dad : no Me: why? Dad: I don't watch porn"

"What do you call a rapist in the friendzone? A stalker."

"Could you guys not make jokes about the holocaust here? My grandfather died in the holocaust, and it's really offending me. He fell out of one of the guard towers at Auschwitz"

"Thou puny pottle-deep joithead! You tell em Shakespeare!"

"""Was this car tested on animals?"" ""sir animals can't drive"" ""will this car enable animals to drive?"" ""No"" ""SO YOU DID TEST IT!"" ""god damnit"""