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Joke of the Day

"If a leaf and an emo fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo."

"I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80s bands... Apparently there's no Cure."

"I consider myself a practical gentleman. That's why I masturbate in the shower. The cleanup is a breeze. The only trouble is keeping my laptop dry. That's why I bring the umbrella."

"Why does Richard have a small dick? Because Dick is short for Richard."

"My wife with a hearing aid died RIP headphone users"

"I had an issue with my XBone suddenly breaking & emitting smoke... I wasn't too disappointed that my XBone crashed and burned but I couldn't stand the fact that the smoke was even in low-res"

"What's red and orange and looks good on hippies.... Fire."

"whats the difference between acne and catholic preists acne doesnt come on a boys face until 13"

"My favourite punchline is in the joke I tell blind people. They never see it coming."

"Every time someone says, ""at least it's a dry heat,"" I want to stab them with a box cutter. *at least it's a short knife."