191092

Joke of the Day

"No one likes my puns about borrowing money, but I'm okay being a-loan. *drinks tears from tear jar*"

"July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? i think not."

"Cop: Have you been drinking or are you on any drugs? Me: Whoa, one question at a time, dude."

"What do call an Asian person who sucks at jokes ? Obvious-lee"

"The Suicide Bomber Teacher said to his student... ""Come here and listen closely, I'm only gonna show you this once""..."

"[on intercom] Pilot: does anyone know how to land an airplane? asking for a friend, i swear"

"99 times out of ten, I'm making shit up."

"Whoever said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery hasn't had a 7yo mimicking their every word for the last 10 minutes."

"The White House Correspondents' Dinner is ... just a big political party."

"alcoholic alzheimer's anonymous. No one knows who they are, or what they're drinking."