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Joke of the Day
"July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? i think not."
Next Joke
"[On a date at a restaurant] So this is nice huh? ""Yea,uh, who's that?"" *Dad is breathing on the window and writing 'VIRGIN' in the steam*"
"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool. Credit to my 15 yo son who made this one up. I'm fairly certain he browses Reddit but he wouldn't admit it to me."
"I wonder how many calories women burn by... ... jumping to conclusions."
"none of the animals i designed and invented are at the zoo. do they even check the suggestion box"
"Maybe if we start smacking people when they say something stupid, evolution will eventually create a delay between thinking and speaking."
"I just think of unfollowers as me paying my Follower Tax."
"Let's all just take a moment to appreciate the dedicated men and women of this great nation who sacrifice their evenings to deliver pizzas."
"""I'm afraid I have some very bad news, sir,"" the doctor said. ""You have cancer and Alzheimer's."" ""Oh, well, at least I don't have cancer."""
"Knock knock Who's there? Little boy blue Little boy blue who? Michael Jackson"