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Joke of the Day

"I just apologized for sending someone a text using shouty font because I couldn't remember the term ""all caps""."

"Why do they call it the Star Wars Universe? When it's only a galaxy"

"If life had a 'CTRL + ALT + DEL' option, you bet your ass I'd be hitting that thing about 14 times a day."

"What do you call lying furniture? Untrustable"

"Single airline stewardesses are very lucky... for their convenience all men are already sorted into different classes."

"So I finally got Pokemon GO... I still haven't caught any Counter-Terrorists."

"Dentist sign reads ""KGB Dentistry"" The sign continued, ""We are Putin in your filling."""

"playing too much GTA. starting to see traffic as ""options."""

"I guess I just felt safer when Martha Stewart was still in prison."

"I swear, the next person who pisses me off will find out very quickly that my threats are empty."