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Joke of the Day

"Paddy goes to court for armed robbery! The jury foreman comes out and announced ""Not Guilty"" ""That's Grand"", shouted Paddy! ""Does that mean I can keep the money?"""

"Interviewer: Your CV is a flip book of you setting things on fire. Me: Wrong. If you flip the pages the other way I'm putting the fires out."

"If someone notices you with an open zipper, answer proudly: professional habit."

"""Haha those 'said no one ever' jokes are pretty funny"" -said no one ever"

"When does it become a dad joke? When it was a kid."

"Why do blondes have bruises around their belly buttons? Because blonde guys are stupid too."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass. Ba dum tschhh"

"What does your hot mom where under her skirt? A Freudian slip."

"Why did the Jedi kill his master? To get to the other side. ...Told by my brother last night"

"I see your limerick... There once was a man from Wheeling Who pounded his pud with great feeling And then like a trout He'd stick his mouth out And wait for the drops from the ceiling"