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Joke of the Day

"If someone notices you with an open zipper, answer proudly: professional habit."

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"What does the Chinese government call an American with a PhD in physics, math and chemistry? STUPID AMERICAN!"
"Always wash your clothes in tide Because it's way too cold out-tide"
"What is a jew's favourite bread? Shabbat-a"
"What did one Labium say to the other Labium? We were tight until that Dick came between us."
"A barman is complaining about all the weird customers he's been getting lately... Then a half naked man walks in with a huge number 19 tattooed on his body. ""There... that's a prime example"""
"I'm hoping to avoid a situation where I have to dance to save my own life."
"Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea of love? If you're dying to be hurt so badly, I've got a baseball bat for that."
"What's the difference between Christmas presents and ass whuppins? You ain't gettin' no Christmas presents!"
"I applied for a job with the Brittle Bone Society. I don't have any experience, but I'm prepared to give it a crack."