190605

Joke of the Day

"I have a friend who is pregnant. Trouble is, she slept around so much that she has no idea who the mother is."

"Recently had a cat-scan. They didn't find any cats."

"How many immigrants does donald trump need to change a lightbulb? None because no juan will be left to change it"

"""Here kid. I hope you like not getting laid until college because your bedroom is a giant dinosaur now."" -extreme home makeover"

"How do you make a woman orgasm? Who gives a fuck"

"do you like fish sticks? if you do you must be a gay fish"

"I place my finger on the police officer's lips. ""Shhh. Look, we were both speeding, ok? I forgive you."""

"My hobbies include 1. Refreshing the same fucking apps over and over 2. Winning arguments in my head that are already over 3. Starring into the fridge because I'm bored ..."

"Yes I get laid because I'm an illusionist. But I don't use ""magic"" or ""tricks"" on women. They respect my skills & choose to make love with m"

"What does a Muslim cowboy shout on his horse? Jee hawd!!!!!!!!!!"