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Joke of the Day

"Touch it gently, put two fingers inside... if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down, push in and out... faster and faster! Yep that's how you wash a cup."

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"What's scarier than Donald Trump becoming president? Bernie Sanders becoming president."
"What does a Mexican magician use? A magic Juan"
"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two. The tricky part is getting them in there."
"Chem students do it on the table periodically."
"What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead. I'll give these two a lift. Edit: Someone didn't like the word guys in it"
"Why the hell are Zach Braff, Zach Galifianakis & Zac Efron not running around Hollywood as the ""Zach Pack""??? This needs to happen."
"I'm dyslexic, atheist & insomniac I stayed up all night wondering if there really is a doG"
"I accidentally answered the phone with my last name and got promoted to homicide detective"
"Just donated my body to science. I'm your problem now, science. And I could use some pizza and beer."