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Joke of the Day
"What's scarier than Donald Trump becoming president? Bernie Sanders becoming president."
Next Joke
"Octopus How does an octopus make you laugh? With ten-tickles"
"""It's 3am and everyone is asleep. Must run into random rooms as fast as I can and jump on everything"" - cats"
"I love the way the Earth rotates. It really makes my day."
"I watch Looney Tunes before I go to work, because there's something about old school cartoon violence that relaxes me"
"Did a little math tonight. Need to do 3,527 hours of cardio to get down to my ideal weight by summer, and not consume any calories."
"Horton must be a first base coach... Since he hears a who."
"Why are turtles dangerous in China ? Because they can turtle you."
"Ralph once had an IQ of 18, ... but then it fell asleep. edit: ~~they~~ it"
"What do you call a pepper in late autumn? A little chili"