190546

Joke of the Day

"Doctor pulls a thermometer out of his top pocket... ""Some asshole's got my pen"""

"I made a joke up!!! Two midgets walk into a bar. edit: sorry I didn't set the bar very high for this joke. edit2: don't' worry- they're ok."

"There is a big difference between hating you and losing respect for you."

"I hate being Bipolar... It's awesome."

"I wish I had remembered this was a rectal thermometer before I'd put it in my mouth for 3 minutes."

"Q: What is the most military day of the year? A: March 4th."

"What do soy products and a vibrator have in common? The both substitute meat"

"A girl walks into a bar and introduces herself.... She walks up to a guy at a bar and says ""Hi, I'm Anita."" He replies, ""Anita this dick?"""

"If my psychiatrist said ""There's really nothing more I can do for you"", that means I'm cured right??"

"What do you call a dream about soda? a fanta sea"