190384

Joke of the Day

"You are ugly!... A drunk guy screams at a woman: ""You are ugly!"". The woman replies: ""You are drunk!"" Guy: ""At least in my case, tomorrow I wont be anymore."""

"Why do white girls walk in odd numbers? Because they cant even."

"You know why they have a cock on the weather vane? If they had a cunt, the wind would blow right through it. -An old fuck."

"Whenever I'm watching paint dry I like to listen to James Bay ... Just to really complete the experience"

"If you saw a heat wave.... Would you wave back?"

"I don't always roll a joint... But when I do it's my ankle."

"Oh stop it! I'm not superficial. I'm just ficial."

"Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but prune juice and viagra? He couldn't tell if he was coming or going."

"I just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent. Now he'll never have any friends."

"How many clones of president Obama does it take to change a lightbulb? What a stupid question: Obama won't change jack shit."