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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you mend a jack-o-lantern? A: With a pumpkin patch."

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"Why does the american border patrol guard take Xanax? To stop hispanic attacks."
"What did the vegetarian do to get ripped? He juiced..."
"Why did the masochist STOP hitting himself on the head with a hammer ? Because it hurt."
"Black joke Q. What do black guys have that's double the size of white men and gets bigger every time they touch a woman? A. Their criminal record"
"Why are suicide kits so hard to sell on Amazon? They never have positive reviews."
"Is it gay when the Doublemint Twins make out? Naw, they're just exspearminting."
"Breaking News: Playboy to eliminate nude pictures from their magazine. ""What's a magazine?"" asked every guy under 30."
"Whats the difference between tuna, a piano and glue? You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna."
"My salad for lunch is missing one key ingredient which would make it perfect. Donuts."