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Joke of the Day

"NSFW What's one thing a woman wishes her husband had after childbirth? A fatter penis."

"Dogs are terrible hosts They get angry if you try to use their bathroom."

"My coworker used to joke ""I'm allergic to most nuts, but not donuts!"". Until Bill brought in peanut butter donuts. He died in the ambulance."

"Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States? So there won't be a World War III."

"Huge bowls of cereal are the parentheses to my night's sleep."

"I got a new one for you. You know how I can tell if the government smokes the pot the DEA seizes? THEY'RE paranoid and OUR rights are being taken away."

"(Art Museum) Me:*sees nature painting* *pulls out sharpie* *draws sun in the top left corner* My 5th Grade Art Teacher: *thumbs up* nice"

"Some Doctors see Private Clients Other Doctors see their Client's Privates."

"So the Dali-Lama walks into a pizza shop... and asks the pizza guy, ""Can you make me one with everything?"""

"What's the difference between Whose Line is it Anway and /r/jokes? On Whose Line is it Anyway, *everything* is made up."