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Joke of the Day

"You're trapped in a room with a tiger a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? You shoot the lawyer. Twice."

"What do you call a dating app for neckbeards? Tipper."

"An Oedipus slip is where you say one thing... ...and fuck your mother."

"The tree in my front yard is allergic to bees It always get hives"

"who many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb? two. one to screw in the bulb and and to hold the cock, LADDER!"

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves #2 Fuck her right in the pussy."

"Roses are Red - Good poem for your ex's Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you."

"What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership? My newt."

"No clean Tupperware today, so I brought my yogurt to work tied up in a condom. No longer allowed to use the employee fridge."

"I'm a devout Catholic with a sex addiction. I'm a hole-y fucker."