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Joke of the Day

"One day,the boy touched the girl's hand.The next day, the girl touched the boy's hand. What a touching story.."

"Asked my Ouija board if I was getting laid tonight. The pointer keeps gliding back and forth between the H and the A. It's been over an hour."

"My uncle came out of the closet yesterday"

"What do you call it when two Vietnamese people are together? A Nguyen Nguyen situation."

"I lost a leg to a guy named Amir... God damn, he's good at playing darts."

"You give great word of mouth"

"I started a company... I started q company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof"

"Speaking of lent some of you mofos owe me money"

"Roses are red, their stems are green ... Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams."

"We should change the saying to ""Home is where your phone automatically connects to your wifi""."