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Joke of the Day

"I opened a door for a girl, but then the crowd flow never stopped so I've been holding this door open for 3 days. Send help."

"My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes him cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."

"Your helium addiction is out of control, but nobody is taking your cry for help seriously."

"When did the criminal get smart? When the judge threw the book at him."

"Two women were talking, one says to the other "" can you believe it, the other day Some one said I was ugly."" ""Don't worry I've been told worse"" ""Oh yeah? Like what?"" "" that you""re also a slut"""

"Let's take a moment this Valentine's Day to think about how awkward it is for all the couples who started dating in January."

"Hey reddit, ever hear the one about no and me neither? Me neither."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe occasionally tips"

"What does a Muslim cowboy shout on his horse? Jee hawd!!!!!!!!!!"

"While shopping, look for this marker on where the gluten free aisle is at. You'll see a man with a gun to his mouth. Because, you know, bullets are gluten free."