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Joke of the Day

"Let's take a moment this Valentine's Day to think about how awkward it is for all the couples who started dating in January."

"Pirates didn't want the fountain of youth, they wanted a cure to scurvy A vitamin sea"

"Why did Helen Keller fire her maid? Cuz she left the plunger in the toilet. - Jackie Martling"

"Did you hear about the fish that went deaf? It had to buy a herring aid"

"I'm thinking about becoming a devil worshipper Just for the hell of it"

"Pizza Hut is going gluten free so while you are dying from a heart attack you can atleast not have gas problems"

"actually these are my therapy bees i'm allowed to take them on the bus with me"

"what did president abe lincoln call his journal? ...his lincoln logs"

"Why does lightning always strike trees? They are the path of leaf resistance."

"ME: please show me the posts in the order that they were made COMPUTER: thats too hard. heres some tweets i think are good. Do you like this"