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Joke of the Day
"If a circle had a football team... ...It would have no corners."
Next Joke
"I miss newspapers. It's weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad"
"* Dalai Lama goes on killing spree after listening to my coworker eat soup *"
"Nurse: The doctor will be with you shortly...do you want me to close the door? Me: Do you wanna watch? Nurse: *closes door*"
"It's a beautiful day to sit outside and stare into your phone."
"Hot tip: Apparently it's frowned upon to make the sound effect tssst when being blessed by a priest"
"What do bed detectives solve? Pillow cases"
"I didn't like my haircut at first... But it's growing on me."
"I imagine one day my dearest friends will say at my funeral, ""Wow. What an idiot. Who chokes to death on orange sherbet?"""
"How many times does it take for a woman on period to change a lightbulb? IT WILL TAKE THE TIME IT FUCKING NEEDS !!!"