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Joke of the Day

"Straight guys on twitter, If you haven't been hit on by a gay guy on here take a long look at yourself & figure out what's wrong with you."

"Damn girl, are you a huge piece of shit? Because you just slid right out of my asshole."

"""Snitches get stitches"" Cute little rhyme.. However I believe, ""Snitches never wake up again"" is more likely to deter snitching..."

"No matter how hard I tried to push the envelope... It was still stationery."

"How can you tell when a girl is vegan? She'll tell you"

"A giraffe walks into a bar, orders 6 martinis ...and shame on you for wanting a punchline. This giraffe needs help."

"Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!"

"If chopsticks were really better than a fork... ...wouldn't we be digging ditches with pool cues?"

"What kind of flour is independent? Self-Raising flour.. I'll get my coat."

"How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists? Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it."