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Joke of the Day
"What's small, gray, and came in little cans? Michael Jackson."
Next Joke
"I don't know what gave you that impression but I wouldn't sleep on it next time."
"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? 'cause he was too far out man!"
"How many times do I have to refresh internet pages before I'm happy?"
"Friend asked me a personal question: Do I ever stick it in my girlfriend's... you know... her other hole? Ew no, she might get pregnant that way."
"""Will you please stop chasing heavy women?"" ""I am not chasing them...they just happen to land on me and I cant get up."""
"When you hear ""I do not love you but we can be friends"" it's like... your mother says ""Your dog died but you can keep it""."
"Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table? Because it cracked itself up."
"Today, a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparantly 'in HD' was not the right answer."
"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? Nothing. They're both on Reddit EVERY FUCKING DAY."