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Joke of the Day

"Friend asked me a personal question: Do I ever stick it in my girlfriend's... you know... her other hole? Ew no, she might get pregnant that way."

"Listen, I hate you... I'm just not... IN hate with you."

"Did the math. Facebook is worth $100 billion and with 800 million users that puts the value of a life at $12.50. Never pay a hitman more."

"I decided to give away all of my old batteries Free of charge"

"A big moron and a little moron were standing on the edge of a roof. Suddenly a gust of wind came and the big one fell off, but the little one didn't. Why? He was a little more on."

"Why did the sushi cross the road? Sushi could get to the other side."

"I got a bootleg copy of ""Alien vs Predator"" It was just some Mexican guy fighting a priest!"

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"Why did a kid get arrested for taking a home made clock into school? Sounds like he had already done the... time"

"What language does a homosexual jew speak? .....Heblew"