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Joke of the Day
"I don't drink and drive..... I only drink at stop signs and red lights."
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"Two elderly men are lounging on the porch of the Socialist Nudist Club, and one says to the other.... ""Say old chap, have you read Marx?"" ""Why yes. It's these bloody wicker chairs!"""
"Making millions of dollars is like breeding rabbits. It's much easier when you start with two."
"What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart? Amadeus on my dais."
"If youre ever cold, stand in a corner. Most corners are 90 degrees."
"What's the do a girlfriend and an ice cream cone have in common? The ones that are hot don't last as long"
"Joke of the Day 6/13/14 I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair."
"What can you say about lots of protected sex? It is a common misconception"
"A zombie ate the brain of a taekwondo master. The zombie said, ""Mmmm. That had a nice kick to it."""
"Just got kicked out of Walmart for having a concealed belly button."