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Joke of the Day

"I walked out of a club with a girl last night. She slipped her hand inside my jeans, squeezed my c*ck and said, ""Yours or mine?"" I said, ""That's mine."""

"Couldn't afford a butterfly knife, so I got a caterpillar one. Now, I wait."

"I've been so drunk that homeless people give me their footlong sub. When they give it to me they whisper, ""Get your shit together, rookie."""

"""if inventimg a machine that alows man to soar through the air is wrong, i dont want to be Wright"" - Wright brother, invemtor of airplabe"

"Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!"

"Sign Driving through a residential area, saw a sign: SLOW Children Playing! I thought to myself ""Gosh, that's a bit cruel!"""

"Just like Jesus joke (NSFW) Came up with this: If I were gay and had sex with a jewish guy I'd be just like Jesus. Because I came into Jerusalem ridding on an ass."

"What's the difference between the worst sex you ever had, and the best sex you ever had? Doesn't matter; Had sex "

"Why do lambs go to casinos? They love to gambol."

"One day, i came across a mute man, and he said"