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Joke of the Day

"By reading this tweet, you have earned a masters in communication from Stephen Colbert ""University."" Standard text messaging rates apply."

"What's a snake's favourite food ? Hiss Cakes !"

"I picked up an ice cream cake & the cashier said keep it in the freezer until serving so it doesn't melt. I've got to start dressing smarter"

"Why does Naruto vomit after every meal? He's **BULIMIC!**"

"To ease tension in crowded elevators I yell ""George Lopez is a comedic genius!"" Then I get stabbed with an ice pick & I don't have insurance"

"There are 10 kinds of people... ... Those that understand binary, and those that don't :)"

"What did the spectator say when the magician transformed Dracula into 2? Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd"

"What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit? He said ""I'm going to try on a different shoe size."""

"What happens when a guy addicted to banging fat chicks doesn't get laid. Width-drawals."

"If mental stability was measured by the type of tweets we laughed at, straight jackets would be the new black."