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Joke of the Day

"What did the spectator say when the magician transformed Dracula into 2? Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd"

"Canada has crack?"

"Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once Upon A Time......last night......I had a few drinks and......borrowed your credit card."

"[dont let him know you're a sponge] Waitress: *spills drink on table* GERONIMO *bellyflops on table* SPRAY SOME CLEANER I GOT THIS oh damn"

"Why do most men like women with big boobs and tight pussies? Because most men have big mouths and small cocks."

"So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... Just kidding."

"I masturbated to Princess Leia the other day It was a hand solo."

"Boys want to play Most young men like the idea of (eventually) marrying a living doll; but on a first date, they'd actually prefer a wined-up toy."

"What do you call a security guard stationed outside of a Samsung? A Guardian of the Galaxy"

"The Calbuco volcano is very hot right now... But everything around it is Chile."