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Joke of the Day

"If I was a pug, nobody would give me funny looks for slobbering in public or eating food off the floor."

Next Joke
 
"Restaurant Hostess: ""Sorry about the wait."" Me: ""It's okay, you don't need to apologize for being overweight."""
"I was once in a play called Breakfast In Bed. Did you have a big role? No just toast and marmalade."
"I lost my favorite ash tray. Child Protective Services took him."
"*1st date* ""Nothing's sexier than a man who can surprise me & make me laugh"" *cut to me in her closet in a clown suit* ""Hellooo soulmate"""
"A photon checks into a hotel... A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. ""No thanks, I'm traveling light."""
"Listen buddy, I don't know why I'm doing karate in your bedroom either, sometimes things happen"
"Lenin, Hitler, and Stalin were in a plane crash. Who was saved? The Russian people"
"What kind of murderer has moral fiber? A cereal killer"
"Hey babe, are you a Sasquatch? Because I'm a cryptozoologist and I've been looking for you my whole life."