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Joke of the Day

"*1st date* ""Nothing's sexier than a man who can surprise me & make me laugh"" *cut to me in her closet in a clown suit* ""Hellooo soulmate"""

"It's white, it's ceramic, and it taps on your door. Let that sink in."

"If you're going to boast non stop about your pregnancy at least give birth to something fun like a puppy, a bouncy castle or a bag of weed."

"Why did the music teacher get arrested So Doe Mi"

"Why are gay men such bad people? Because they are all fucking assholes"

"Why was the tampon flying down the school hallway? He was late for his next period."

"So I heard Nicki Minaj once wanted to kill herself. And her song comes on and I think why didn't she?"

"You guys ever hear the one about the man who ran naked through the church? They caught him by the organ."

"Gave my cat some almond milk and now she teaches hot yoga on Thursday nights."

"Why do men prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company"