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Joke of the Day

"*1st date* ""Nothing's sexier than a man who can surprise me & make me laugh"" *cut to me in her closet in a clown suit* ""Hellooo soulmate"""

"Being married is like peeing in your pants... At first it's nice and hot, but then it just gets sloppy and uncomfortable."

"At this point, the most shocking outfit Lady Gaga could wear is a t-shirt and jeans."

"Rick Astley's movie collection... You can ask to borrow any movie from Rick Astley except for one. He's never gonna give you Up."

"Why did the phone keep walking into the wall? It lost its contacts."

"What kind of dinosaur writes poetry? A Bronte-saurus."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? You expect me to get hard so fast, I just got laid!"

"How can you tell two people are married? Both are yelling at the same kid."

"How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long."

"""This is BULLSHIT"" - enthusiastic manure salesman"