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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you wear shorts in the Ukraine? Chernobyl fallout..."

"I text back embarrassingly fast or three days later there is no in-between."

"Does anyone want to come over and stare at our phones?"

"(Quick one-liner joke:) Why are pretty women like pianos? Because when they're not upright, they're grand!"

"Did you hear about the pirates who became shoe shiners? They were s*washbuckling*!"

"Trump after Obama is like Umbridge after Dumbledore. R.I.P"

"My wife and i decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty hard..."

"Which wiki do dyslexic pastry chefs claim to be trying to visit before getting arrested? www.filopedia.org"

"What do cannibal parents tell their kids when they become picky eaters? Eat the vegetables"

"Someone needs to tell Madonna you can't call it ""Girls Gone Wild"" when you're a 100."