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Joke of the Day

"*does 3 or 4 pretty accurate karate kicks in front of a girl* ""Ya as I was saying my dad went to middle school with the drummer from Tesla"""

"Unshakable Fact # 4 Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was killed by the woman's husband."

"What boxer's nickname is EEEEE? Mohammad Ali All-E"

"Whenever someone jokingly replies, ""Blocked,"" I laugh and laugh and then go check."

"Did you know if you beat up a monk then he's no longer vegetarian? He becomes a *sore-sage*."

"I used to be a head chef. I guess it's just part of being a cannibal."

"A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, ""No, I'm traveling light."""

"Me: My daughters are 15, 13, and 10. Her: Do you want more kids? Me: Hahahahahahahaha Her: Is that a no? Me: *Deep breathe* Hahahahahaha"

"Lesbian Couple A girl asked me what my view on lesbian couples was. Apparently ""in HD"" wasn't the right answer."

"My kid just said his dinner tasted like cat litter. Not sure if I should be offended or wonder how he knows what cat litter tastes like."