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Joke of the Day

"I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid my friends will give me the funeral I told them I wanted when I was drunk."

"Where do poor meatballs live? In the spaghetto. Kudos to my friend who came up with this."

"What does the country of Brazil and tent sex have in common? Camp penis."

"Someone discovered my password. Now I have to rename my dog."

"I signed up on Match.com... They set me up with a couch and a bottle of hand lotion... ...on the bright side it was my 1st 3-way."

"Why couldn't the quadrilateral comb out her daughters hair? Because it was a wrecked tangle"

"What do you call a hamburger that runs for president? A McTrump"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger and Michael Jackson decided to combine their efforts to create a Superhuman... they called it Michael Sch......was-a-negger. Sorry for the Racism :<"

"We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea Runs in our jeans."

"I used a fax machine today!! I also ran all the cotton thru the gin and plowed the field with my oxen while it finished dialing up."