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Joke of the Day

"space republicans decree: if alien lifeform implants a egg in ur face,u must carry it to term. perhaps wear a less enticing helmet next time"

Next Joke
 
"I never trust atoms They make up everything."
"What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits for a boy to be 14 before it comes on his face"
"a golfer stabbed a Mexican the other day.... it was a hole in Juan"
"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer, I don't know what he laced them with but I have been tripping all day. --My amazing girlfriend told me this one"
"Why go to a public pool when strangers on Craigslist will pee on you for free"
"I'm not saying I hate you, I'm just saying that if you got hit by a bus, I would be driving that bus."
"How does a butcher introduce his wife to his friends? ""Meet Patty"""
"A saying of love. If you love her, let her go. If she returns, anal."
"Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet OK! EAT ME NOW Oh! Too late Bananas"