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Joke of the Day

"space republicans decree: if alien lifeform implants a egg in ur face,u must carry it to term. perhaps wear a less enticing helmet next time"

"Why did the baker go to work? He kneaded the dough!"

"I just bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day"

"Why do men run faster than women rolling friction is lesser than sliding friction"

"How do you kill a one-legged fox? You make him run across Canada..."

"At first I didn't like having a beard But then it grew on me."

"Who is the Prime Minister of Israol? Netanyahoo"

"Did you dream of me, baby? -Are you a swimming pool full of Lucky Charms & milk? No, silly. -Then no."

"How can you tell if a chocolate bar is kosher? It's got a Jewey caramel center."

"I was wondering... since there are great white sharks, how come there aren't any great black sharks? Then i realized even if there were, they probably couldn't swim..."