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Joke of the Day

"My wife left me over my pasta fetish I'm feeling cannelloni right now"

"Umlaut is a pretty fancy word for what are basically just letter nipples."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a flying fuck."

"Badum tish. Hey, so this baby seal walks into a club."

"A blonde went to buy 2 bananas The seller told her that he didn't have change and asked if she wanted one more, the blonde responded ""Okay, i will eat one""."

"My sister didnt think I could make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pastah'"

"How does a blind skydiver know when to pull the parachute? When the leash goes slack."

"A knock sounds at a nerd's door... *Knock knock!* ""Who's there?"" ""You know!"" ""You know who?"" ""Exactly. AVADA KEDAVRA!!!!!"""

"I hate when I press 1 for English and still get an Indian person."

"The only people I know I'm superior to are the ones who announce the break they're taking from Facebook."