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Joke of the Day

"Q. What is the difference between a fish and a piano? A. You can't tuna fish."

"Simpsons TapOut/Awesome Best game out in long time. I'm so addicted to it that it seems to be a issue with my relationship. Lol!!!"

"What do you call a plan to exterminate Hipsters? The Vinyl solution."

"I've just bought a house with period features She hates that nickname."

"Two Eskimos, sitting in a kayak, were very chilly. To keep warm, they lit a fire in the craft, but it sank. They should have known. You can't have your kayak and heat it too."

"I used to play pocket hockey... ...but I stopped because the referee was a dick."

"Saturday night just logged me out due to inactivity."

"I bought shoes from my drug dealer today I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"The best thing about being over 25 is that no one can find embarrassing Youtube videos of you as a kid."

"I HAVE A LITTLE MERMAID BAND-AID UNDER MY EYE CAUSE I'M IN A GANG NOW."