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Joke of the Day

"The best thing about being over 25 is that no one can find embarrassing Youtube videos of you as a kid."

"Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol."

"Doctor said getting some natural light would help with my depression. Now I'm depressed *and* hung over."

"I got diarrhea while camping last weekend. Shit was in tents."

"I joked at school drop off that the white stuff on my kid was powdered sugar, not cocaine, but I took it too far by rubbing some on my gums."

"I went off on a tan gent once He was wasting all his time at the beach"

"Hitler was a great man. He killed Hitler."

"Unicorn: Come on man, do it just one more time. Dragon: This is the last time. Unicorn: Hell yeah! Dragon: [toasts unicorns marshmallow]"

"What do you call a confused Asian person? Disoriental."

"Online dates are like recipes... they never look like the picture."