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Joke of the Day

"Why is President Carter important to Hamburger Land in April? One the opening day of the baseball season he throws out the first meatball!"

"After just starting uni, I have decided I don't like referencing. I don't like it et al."

"You get home from work early. You walk into the kitchen and your dog is peeling a potato. Startled, she yells ""IT'S JUST A POTATO!"" #ambien"

"Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs."

"You're so poor, your neighborhood just received a box full of 49ers Superbowl champions t shirts."

"As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection. ""Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog,"" said the vet."

"My friend's dog eats anything and everything. She told me that he was a bottomless Pit...I dunno. He looks more like a Boxer to me."

"My GPS is basically just one more man in my life who I turn on and then ignore."

"What did the pirate say to the other pirate? Don't touch my booty"

"What's a muslim's favourite game? Goat Stimulator"