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Joke of the Day

"My friend's dog eats anything and everything. She told me that he was a bottomless Pit...I dunno. He looks more like a Boxer to me."

"*gives you dictionary for your birthday* wow.. i don't know what to say ""that's why i bought it for you"""

"What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals ? A guard dog !"

"Where do Eggs keep their holidays pictures? In a photo albumen..."

"What's worse than a polar bear? A bi-polar bear."

"I'm tired and want to sleep, but I can't stop imagining how the whole scenario of the first person to pee on a jellyfish sting went down"

"Just bought a Subaru & it came with wet rescue dog nose marks on the windows, some pot & Whole Foods environmentally friendly shopping bags."

"I once dated a strict Catholic from the south of Ireland I'll tell you what, you can take the girl out of Cork...."

"Rabbis Don't get paid for circumcisions. But they get to keep the tips."

"I was looking for the sun at night, and then it dawned on me."